Guardian angels

Stella, you are stealth.  Today you and I were in the family room.  Emma was in the bathroom washing her hands.  I was sending a text to dad.  I look up, and you are gone.  I thought you were in the office.  You weren't.  I checked the bathroom.  You weren't there.  The plastic toy muffin you were chewing on was at the bottom of the stairs.  I heard something upstairs.  I race up to the toy room and there you are.  You climbed the flight of stairs (16) by yourself with no one behind you!  I was proud and anxious  and grateful all at the same time.  Proud you climbed the whole way and know your way around the house.  Anxious that you could have fallen backwards and really gotten hurt.  Grateful that didn't happen.

Emma, you've been very curious about who dad and my parents are, who our grandparents are, and what their names all are.  I have a picture of my mom and dad on the mantle which started your questions all over.  We're very up front with you about the deaths in the family.  You've already been to two funerals and you're old enough to be aware of everything.

Today Karen and her kids (Hayden, Julia, and Adri) came over to see the new house and then make a trip to get ice cream.  You and Julia were sitting on the floor with the phone from your kitchen upstairs. I'm not sure how it started, but I heard you say, "I can't talk to my grandma.  She's dead.  See, her picture is up there.  I can't talk to her."  I don't think Julia knew exactly what to say.  Karen jumped in and said, "Yes, Julia, it's true."  It's really sad to hear you say that, Emma, for a couple reasons.  The first, obviously, is that you can't talk to your grandma.  The second is how grown up you are talking about it.  I have a student who just had to put her dog down and it was the first real loss she experienced, her mom said.  I thought how fortunate that she made it until junior high before experiencing loss and it was her dog and not a human.  You say you remember your grandma (my mom).  But I really wonder how much.  I know you remember great papa though.  Just in case you didn't know, they both loved you very much and were so proud of you and impressed by you.  I'll just do my best to love you 4 times more to make up for my parents and grandparents who can't be here to love you.